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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling  Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-15-2014, 10:50 AM
LAG, Didzo, Karth, and the biggest blackest dick.
Alright, now that the obvious jokes are out of the way I figure we all enjoy humor and I think we should share some of our favorite jokes, I'll start with an old but good one. A man and his wife are discussing groceries: Wife: "Honey, please go to the market and buy one bottle of milk. If they have eggs, bring six." The husband goes to the market, and comes back with six bottles of milk. The wife, now upset yells at her husband: "Why the hell did you buy six bottles of milk!?" To which the husband responds: "BECAUSE THEY HAD EGGS!" One liners and whatnot are good too, any joke! Just be sure to include situational set ups when you do jokes where that is needed. ![[Image: b_350_20_323957_202743_F19A15_111111.png]](http://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/172.241.151.130:13676/b_350_20_323957_202743_F19A15_111111.png)
(This post was last modified: 01-15-2014, 10:52 AM by FlyingMongoose.)
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A. Crow Surprise Whopper  Posts: 4,091 Joined: May 2008 |
01-15-2014, 12:48 PM
Joke thread? Hey mongoose, why don't you tell us about your sex life?
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StolenToast BRB, Posting  Posts: 1,136 Joined: Jan 2012 |
01-15-2014, 01:12 PM
I made this one up when I couldn't answer a question on a chemistry quiz. I didn't get any credit =(
Quote:Two terrible chemists are in a lab. ![[Image: MNON0Oe.png]](http://i.imgur.com/MNON0Oe.png) ![[Image: tumblr_m360cgh8CN1rui512o1_400.gif]](https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m360cgh8CN1rui512o1_400.gif) ![[Image: 1251089773538.gif]](http://paulrobertson.mechafetus.com/1251089773538.gif){kind=small}
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Hobospartan BRB, Posting Posts: 1,531 Joined: Jul 2009 |
01-15-2014, 02:54 PM
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
[spoiler]None![/spoiler] (04-18-2011, 10:39 PM)zaneyard link Wrote:yeah dude getting a finger in the ass is like taking a really good poop (06-12-2012, 07:48 AM)HeK link Wrote:And people wonder why the US has the highest crime and murder rates out of any developed or first-world nation. (01-27-2013, 11:14 PM)LT Crow link Wrote:This is why you keep a stocked bar. You don't ever run out of booze. You just might have to switch to a different drink. (11-05-2013, 08:35 PM)rumbot link Wrote:I don't think I've ever said this, but, wow that's an amazing dress and whoever designed it should get an award. (01-03-2014, 12:08 AM)CPT Crow link Wrote:I have bourbon on my keyboard. It got there through my nose. ![[Image: brosquadtaghobro-1.png]](http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j299/White_Spartan/brosquadtaghobro-1.png){kind=small}
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-15-2014, 04:26 PM
(01-15-2014, 12:48 PM)CPT Crow link Wrote: Joke thread? Hey mongoose, why don't you tell us about your sex life? If I did you'd be crying and I'd be laughing. Sent from my subdermal neurological implant.
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Dtrain323i Oprah Winfrey  Posts: 3,067 Joined: Nov 2009 |
01-15-2014, 05:34 PM
Battered women? I usually bake mine.
 11:35 Socks Greatbacon_work: Just accept the idea of enemas. |
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-16-2014, 01:28 AM
I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer.
Sent from my subdermal neurological implant.
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-16-2014, 11:34 AM
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out ... "Aces!" Sent from my subdermal neurological implant.
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Chooly BRB, Posting  Posts: 768 Joined: Mar 2008 |
01-16-2014, 12:07 PM
(01-16-2014, 01:28 AM)FlyingMongoose link Wrote: I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer. I like my preteens like I like my rum... all mixed up with coke [table][tr][td] ![[Image: style5,The-spc-Pwnrgization.png]](http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style5,The-spc-Pwnrgization.png){kind=small} [/td][td]Chooly: /nevergonnagiveyouupEschatos: /nevergonnaletyoudown [TC] Versus: /nevergonnarunaround [TC] Versus: /anddesertyou ToiletDuck: /closeapplication[/td][/tr][/table] |
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Dtrain323i Oprah Winfrey Posts: 3,067 Joined: Nov 2009 |
01-16-2014, 03:48 PM
Liberalism
yeah, i went there 11:35 Socks Greatbacon_work: Just accept the idea of enemas. |
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-16-2014, 04:49 PM
My brother called me a liberal when I posted about how net neutrality died. I then went through a very big schpiel on how her neutrality is good for everyone including the market. And how losing net neutrality is actually something that goes against capitalism.
Any way back to the jokes. I'm going offensive now. Why shouldn't women drive? There is no roads between the kitchen and bedroom. Sent from my subdermal neurological implant.
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Goffin BRB, Posting Posts: 571 Joined: Nov 2009 |
01-16-2014, 06:42 PM
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow. Ball punching for Teh Win!             ![[Image: bruce%20lee%20animated%20gif.gif]](http://www.antville.org/img/oelie/bruce%20lee%20animated%20gif.gif)    Incoming!!! ![[Image: soelb3.gif]](http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/6346/soelb3.gif) ![[Image: b_560x95.png]](http://cache.www.gametracker.com/player/Goffin/74.91.124.188:25200/b_560x95.png)
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Geoff Real World Azn Posts: 3,921 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-16-2014, 09:15 PM
great jokes boys
(10-06-2011, 04:24 AM)Vandamguy link Wrote:just ignore everything Geoff posts its always trolling or ignorant drivel |
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Hobospartan BRB, Posting Posts: 1,531 Joined: Jul 2009 |
01-17-2014, 12:16 AM
American History in-joke here...
What do you call five black people having sex? [spoiler]A threesome![/spoiler] (04-18-2011, 10:39 PM)zaneyard link Wrote:yeah dude getting a finger in the ass is like taking a really good poop (06-12-2012, 07:48 AM)HeK link Wrote:And people wonder why the US has the highest crime and murder rates out of any developed or first-world nation. (01-27-2013, 11:14 PM)LT Crow link Wrote:This is why you keep a stocked bar. You don't ever run out of booze. You just might have to switch to a different drink. (11-05-2013, 08:35 PM)rumbot link Wrote:I don't think I've ever said this, but, wow that's an amazing dress and whoever designed it should get an award. (01-03-2014, 12:08 AM)CPT Crow link Wrote:I have bourbon on my keyboard. It got there through my nose.
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StolenToast BRB, Posting Posts: 1,136 Joined: Jan 2012 |
01-17-2014, 12:46 AM
(01-17-2014, 12:16 AM)Höböspärtän link Wrote: American History in-joke here...lol
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Dtrain323i Oprah Winfrey Posts: 3,067 Joined: Nov 2009 |
01-17-2014, 04:21 PM
(01-16-2014, 04:49 PM)FlyingMongoose link Wrote: My brother called me a liberal when I posted about how net neutrality died. I then went through a very big schpiel on how her neutrality is good for everyone including the market. And how losing net neutrality is actually something that goes against capitalism. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice. 11:35 Socks Greatbacon_work: Just accept the idea of enemas. |
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-20-2014, 12:31 PM
Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock on the stove!
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Chooly BRB, Posting Posts: 768 Joined: Mar 2008 |
01-21-2014, 05:51 PM
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs
-Nailed to a wall : Art -Floating in the water : Bob -Laying on your porch : Matt [table][tr][td] [/td][td]Chooly: /nevergonnagiveyouupEschatos: /nevergonnaletyoudown [TC] Versus: /nevergonnarunaround [TC] Versus: /anddesertyou ToiletDuck: /closeapplication[/td][/tr][/table] |
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spm201 Lurker Posts: 433 Joined: Sep 2011 |
01-21-2014, 06:03 PM
Well my Irish potato joke got taken, so I guess I have to resort to my less tasteful ones. Time to get offensive.
So the other day I'm fucking my daughter and my wife walks in on us. She just stood there in shock, but I couldn't tell what surprised her more. That I was fucking my daughter, or that the abortion clinic let me keep it. |
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FlyingMongoose Uninstalling Posts: 2,633 Joined: Apr 2008 |
01-21-2014, 06:12 PM
I use to be a necrophiliac, but the rotten cunt split on me.
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