(01-12-2015, 02:05 PM)Surf314 link Wrote: My acid reflux disease flared up and led to an infection of my throat and lungs I've been fighting off for over a week now.  So now I'm stuck on a strict acid reflux diet for the indefinite future, which means: No coffee, chocolate, carbonated beverages, beer, fried foods, fatty foods.  I have to strongly avoid liquor, probably completely cut it out.  I also have to avoid tomatoes.

But I do get to keep baked goods, which will probably be most of my diet from now on (some veggies and proteins thrown in once in a while).

(01-12-2015, 02:31 PM)Eightball link Wrote: [quote author=Surf314 link=topic=3709.msg282997#msg282997 date=1421089535]
My acid reflux disease flared up and led to an infection of my throat and lungs I've been fighting off for over a week now.  So now I'm stuck on a strict acid reflux diet for the indefinite future, which means: No coffee, chocolate, carbonated beverages, beer, fried foods, fatty foods.  I have to strongly avoid liquor, probably completely cut it out.  I also have to avoid tomatoes.

But I do get to keep baked goods, which will probably be most of my diet from now on (some veggies and proteins thrown in once in a while).

(01-12-2015, 09:18 PM)Surf314 link Wrote: [quote author=Eightball link=topic=3709.msg282999#msg282999 date=1421091086]
[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=3709.msg282997#msg282997 date=1421089535]
My acid reflux disease flared up and led to an infection of my throat and lungs I've been fighting off for over a week now.  So now I'm stuck on a strict acid reflux diet for the indefinite future, which means: No coffee, chocolate, carbonated beverages, beer, fried foods, fatty foods.  I have to strongly avoid liquor, probably completely cut it out.  I also have to avoid tomatoes.

But I do get to keep baked goods, which will probably be most of my diet from now on (some veggies and proteins thrown in once in a while).

(01-29-2015, 05:31 PM)Karth link Wrote: I could really use some advice if anyone can spare the time.

So, as some of you may know, I moved into a house with 2 roommates last semester, still there now. A guy and a girl. Most everything's been fine. But every so often (probably every month) the girl, let's call her Jenny, will get mad at one of us for a few days without ever telling us what was wrong. And no, it's not her period. Now, I lived with a sister, I know that some girls just do that. However, what makes me nervous me is just what sets her off. Once we were making fun a movie she liked which might have been over the line, but other times I have a hard time figuring out what I said that makes her angry.

Now, one day is one day, I understand that. But we get stuff like this from her all the time. Anytime anything negative is mentioned and she hears it, she immediately assumes it's about her. And I do mean anything. Once my roommate simply stated "You gotta get your dishes cleaned" (since she had a sizeable amount of dishes to wash) and she immediately replied "I don't like the tone of your voice." In addition, she'll always assume anything I'm talking about with her is in some context negative. If I say, "Yeah, we gotta stop wasting time and get this project done" she'll take as "Stop fooling around, hurry up with your dumb project". She takes seemingly everything personally, even if it's not directed at her.

From what she's told us about her personal life it sounds like she didn't have a healthy upbringing. She mentioned she never really spent time with her parents, never had dinner at a table (or with the family at all for that matter), didn't have many friends, and a bad romantic relationship in high school that ended in the boyfriend cheating on her. She brings up the bad relationship a lot as well. She'll love to chat to us about her..open-relationship thing (I don't quite understand it), but the second we try to give her any input she'll get angry and tell us to shut up. It's a huge sign of insecurity to me.

Most recently my guy roommate told me that she came home extremely upset, basically crying, because she claimed everyone in our class was making fun of her and calling her stupid. Being in that class, I can confirm that that's completely untrue. Some joking comments were made, but nothing that could've been taken seriously. In addition, these comments were made towards everyone by everyone. Just a joking friendly environment. I don't think she thinks she's lying though. I'm sure she believes every word of it. She made an accusation towards one person in our group who barely talked to her that day, saying that he was being relentless. That was a straight-up lie. And once again she's avoiding me because of this.

I think it's really hypocritical for her to do this because she won't tell anyone her boundaries. She'll sulk in her room for a few days and then come out seemingly fine again. On top of this, she'll make inappropriate jokes about me and Eric that we try not to get upset at. She'll constantly make jokes about my guy roommate being a virgin, which he's told her that he doesn't like her mentioning, yet it persists.

I consider myself a roommate that looks out for his own and above that her friend. But I feel like I need to confront her about this because it's seriously causing problems between her, her friends, and her career path (if she is gonna be in film, it's a massive downhill slide of insults). I don't feel this type of behavior is normal or healthy, but I'm not gonna ask her to seek mental help. I want to get her to understand and I want to talk this out.

Am I in the wrong for this? Any advice you guys could give me?

(01-29-2015, 05:31 PM)Karth link Wrote: I don't feel this type of behavior is normal or healthy, but I'm not gonna ask her to seek mental help. I want to get her to understand and I want to talk this out.

(01-29-2015, 05:31 PM)Karth link Wrote: I could really use some advice if anyone can spare the time.

So, as some of you may know, I moved into a house with 2 roommates last semester, still there now. A guy and a girl. Most everything's been fine. But every so often (probably every month) the girl, let's call her Jenny, will get mad at one of us for a few days without ever telling us what was wrong. And no, it's not her period. Now, I lived with a sister, I know that some girls just do that. However, what makes me nervous me is just what sets her off. Once we were making fun a movie she liked which might have been over the line, but other times I have a hard time figuring out what I said that makes her angry.

Now, one day is one day, I understand that. But we get stuff like this from her all the time. Anytime anything negative is mentioned and she hears it, she immediately assumes it's about her. And I do mean anything. Once my roommate simply stated "You gotta get your dishes cleaned" (since she had a sizeable amount of dishes to wash) and she immediately replied "I don't like the tone of your voice." In addition, she'll always assume anything I'm talking about with her is in some context negative. If I say, "Yeah, we gotta stop wasting time and get this project done" she'll take as "Stop fooling around, hurry up with your dumb project". She takes seemingly everything personally, even if it's not directed at her.

From what she's told us about her personal life it sounds like she didn't have a healthy upbringing. She mentioned she never really spent time with her parents, never had dinner at a table (or with the family at all for that matter), didn't have many friends, and a bad romantic relationship in high school that ended in the boyfriend cheating on her. She brings up the bad relationship a lot as well. She'll love to chat to us about her..open-relationship thing (I don't quite understand it), but the second we try to give her any input she'll get angry and tell us to shut up. It's a huge sign of insecurity to me.

Most recently my guy roommate told me that she came home extremely upset, basically crying, because she claimed everyone in our class was making fun of her and calling her stupid. Being in that class, I can confirm that that's completely untrue. Some joking comments were made, but nothing that could've been taken seriously. In addition, these comments were made towards everyone by everyone. Just a joking friendly environment. I don't think she thinks she's lying though. I'm sure she believes every word of it. She made an accusation towards one person in our group who barely talked to her that day, saying that he was being relentless. That was a straight-up lie. And once again she's avoiding me because of this.

I think it's really hypocritical for her to do this because she won't tell anyone her boundaries. She'll sulk in her room for a few days and then come out seemingly fine again. On top of this, she'll make inappropriate jokes about me and Eric that we try not to get upset at. She'll constantly make jokes about my guy roommate being a virgin, which he's told her that he doesn't like her mentioning, yet it persists.

I consider myself a roommate that looks out for his own and above that her friend. But I feel like I need to confront her about this because it's seriously causing problems between her, her friends, and her career path (if she is gonna be in film, it's a massive downhill slide of insults). I don't feel this type of behavior is normal or healthy, but I'm not gonna ask her to seek mental help. I want to get her to understand and I want to talk this out.

Am I in the wrong for this? Any advice you guys could give me?

(01-29-2015, 11:49 PM)matter11 link Wrote: Look at symptoms for borderline personality disorder. Your description vaguely reminds me of someone with it. It involves extreme emotions.

(01-30-2015, 12:07 AM)Eightball link Wrote: [quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg283236#msg283236 date=1422570694]
I don't feel this type of behavior is normal or healthy, but I'm not gonna ask her to seek mental help. I want to get her to understand and I want to talk this out.

(01-30-2015, 12:12 PM)Käse link Wrote: the most important advice regarding problems with other people:
communication

You and your roommates must all sit down and talk about this issue. She might not realize that her behavior/reactions are negatively affecting her roommates. And during the talk you can tactfully suggest counseling/therapy for her own benefit (because for her, her own personal mental health well-being is more important than how it affects you guys).

(01-30-2015, 02:20 PM)zaneyard link Wrote: [quote author=Käse link=topic=3709.msg283257#msg283257 date=1422637962]
the most important advice regarding problems with other people:
communication

You and your roommates must all sit down and talk about this issue. She might not realize that her behavior/reactions are negatively affecting her roommates. And during the talk you can tactfully suggest counseling/therapy for her own benefit (because for her, her own personal mental health well-being is more important than how it affects you guys).

(01-30-2015, 02:31 PM)zaneyard link Wrote: I was kinda being sarcastic, but you're right.

(01-30-2015, 03:01 PM)Käse link Wrote: [quote author=zaneyard link=topic=3709.msg283264#msg283264 date=1422646295]
I was kinda being sarcastic, but you're right.